Taste of Home

My favorite part of coming over to my mom's house is that you never know what kind of food will be on the stove.  I have no idea what perceptions people have of what Guyanese vegetarians eat for dinner every night, but it certainly can't be what I walked into last night!

I was immediately greeted by the warm smokey smell of charred bell peppers, which made my mouth water just thinking of my mom's roasted peppers.  I don't care how much you pay at Whole Foods for a tiny jar - nothing beats the oily, vinegary, slightly smokey taste of freshly dressed peppers that have just come off the flame 20 minutes ago.

Garlicky, peppery, vinegary goodness!

I didn't know whether she was bulk roasting the peppers (since Sprouts had an amazing 3/$1 special on giant red bell peppers) or making just a few for dinner, but, thankfully, a quick look at the stove told me that it would be the latter.  In a big pan, Mom was sautéing zucchini and garlic and I thought that one of my favorites, pasta gagutz, was on the way.  However, the zucchini was cut in chunks (my favorite part of pasta gagutz is the thin, slightly crispy rounds of zucchini), and, having just bought my mom a mandolin, I tried to excuse my seeming brattiness by demonstrating how easy the device made cutting the zucchini "really thin!" (as my dad would shout from the living room).  

She indulged me and let me set up another pan on the stove so that I could duplicate the "something new" she was making with my thin slices of zucchini.  After those thin slices of heaven became golden brown and started to curl around the edges, I ground in a couple (okay, several) turns of black pepper, added the cooked linguine, and some minced black olives (straight from the can - no knife work needed) and capers.  

What would you add?  Kalamata olives?  Grilled eggplant?

I'll be honest - sorry, B - I took a few delicious forkfuls straight from the pan before being sent on my way with a steaming bowl of simple deliciousness, a container of roasted peppers, and two small loaves of ciabatta bread.  B was waiting at home because I was only over to drop the Bean home since some jerk had destroyed the whole driver's side of her car earlier that day by mashing it with his truck.  Normally I don't like to eat and run (and this is a dish you MUST eat hot, or else it just seems greasy), but when I walked in the door and B was moaning about what to make for dinner, it was all I could do not to squeal in excitement as I unloaded the delicious Mediterranean feast we had.

I added some of the oven-dried tomatoes I'd made earlier in the week as well as a good amount of parmesan cheese and a little drizzle of hot chili oil before reheating it (like I said, you MUST eat it hot).  This gave me time to slice open the ciabatta loaves and top them with slices of mozzarella cheese before sticking them under the broiler.  Throwing some roasted red peppers on top after taking them out of the oven completed the meal.  It was rustic, sophisticated, and comforting all at once.  So simple, but something that would certainly impress at a dinner party.

The creamy, broiled mozzarella is the perfect compliment to the acidity of the peppers.

I think some thin slices of mushroom would have been great in this dish as well, but that's the beauty of it - add whatever you want and toss!  I have no doubt that this would be exquisite with a bit of spicy salami or sausage if you have guests or a spouse who is always asking, "Where's the meat?"  You can make it all in one pan, and then separate it at the end and just let the oils of the meat infuse the dish.  If you use sausage, the fat left over from cooking it would be a great addition during the final toss.

καλή όρεξη!

What do you eat - Tofurky or something?

Whenever anyone finds out that I am vegetarian (and especially around the holiday season) I know that within seconds I will hear something along the lines of, "Haha, what do you eat Tofurky or something?"  To be honest, I'm impressed that so many people know what Tofurky is, although I'm inclined to think that many of them just know vegetarians eat tofu, and it's only a hop, skip, and a jump from turkey to Tofu-rky.  


They think it's witty, I want to bang my head against a wall, and they are inevitably shocked that there really is such a thing as Tofurky.  Since it's January, you can imagine that I am just about done with that line, so I wanted to share some of the fantastic meat alternative products that I do eat on a day to day basis.  


For those of you just starting on the vegetarian journey (or for you frustrated, meat-eating parents trying to appeal to a suddenly vegetarian teenager), think of this as a gift:  As a lifelong vegetarian, I've eaten a LOT of crappy fake meat in the last quarter of a century.  And I mean a lot.  Fortunately for you, I'm about to provide a little cheat sheet as to the best stuff out there.  There are links to all of the products' websites, so you can check them out yourself.


You're welcome.  :)


Best Veggie Chicken Patty:  Boca Spicy Chik'n Patty 

• There's only one thing you need to know about these:  B hid from me for years when we were first together that he would ask the Bean to make him Chik'n patty sandwiches.  I mean, he actually would have cravings for them he liked the flavour and texture so much!
• Also, Boca is endorsed by Weight Watchers, so that makes it super easy for those of you counting points.  This is neither here nor there to me, but my mom lost a whole heap of weight on Weight Watchers, so I thought I'd point that out.

Best Veggie Crumble:  MorningStar Farms Grillers Recipe Crumbles

• I use this for everything:  Lasagna, meatballs, meatloaf, tacos, Hamburger Helper - you name it, if it calls for ground beef, this is what I use.  My sister prefers the Boca version, because I think it's closer to vegan (no egg whites, but it still has sugar).  

Best Breakfast Line:  MorningStar Farms

• I haven't really seen many other brands make a serious effort at a vegetarian breakfast line, and these sausage links and patties (the regular, not maple) are so delicious, I haven't been persuaded to try anything else.  
• I think all vegetarian bacon is a bit of a joke, but their bacon strips are what I grew up on, so on the rare occasion that I'm in the mood for a BLT, this is what I use.

Best Deli Slices:  Tofurky Deli Slices (Especially the Peppered and Italian Deli)

 

• These deli slices are almost paper thin, and loaded with flavour.  I have been known to sit and eat half a package in one sitting without even realizing it.  Because I like my sandwich fixings thinly sliced (I can hear my dad saying, "And cut the tomatoes and cucumbers reeeeally thin!"), these really appeal to me.
• Also, I have an unhealthy obsession with coarse ground black pepper, so it's like these were made for me!
• LightLife's Smart Deli Roast Turkey Style deli slices are also pretty awesome, but it breaks my heart that they stopped making the salami slices I'm convinced they used to make.
• I fill that void with Yves Meatless Deli Salami Slices when I can find them...

Best Hot Dog:  TIE!  Veggie Patch Veggie Dogs and LightLife Smart Dogs Jumbo

 

• The Veggie Patch hot dogs were a surprise to me.  We always get the Jumbo Smart Dogs, but for some reason (probably because there was a sale and a coupon) I picked up a box of these one day.  They are the perfect size for those cheap, standard hot dog buns because they are slimmer than the Smart Dogs.  When I eat these, I feel like I'm getting a hot dog from a cart in New York.  
• Note that it is best to microwave, boil or steam these (since they are so thin, grilling them makes them a bit too tough, unless you keep a close eye on them).
• The Jumbo Smart Dogs are perfect for your summer BBQ.  Thick, juicy and big enough to fill out any bun or roll, these veggie dogs can withstand the heat from a grill, and are all the better because of it.  They're also substantial enough to hold their own against the relish, tomatoes, pickles and sport peppers that make up my favourite dog:  the Chicago Dog.

That's all for tonight!  Tomorrow I'll go over the best burgers, sausages, chicken nuggets and other meatless meal starters.

Fancy a Curry, Love?

Everyone has a go to dish they make when they want to impress guests/coworkers/in-laws. For my mom, it was baked ziti and homemade garlic bread; for me, it's a deliciously creamy, slightly spicy makhani that is incredibly versatile.

The best thing about this curry is that it's so flavourful. It can be mild without being bland, and spicy without simply being a tear-jerker - it's up to you. Also, it's just as good with paneer (my husband even asks for a bit in his chicken version) as it is with any meat.

I think lots of people are scared of making a curry without a jar of Patak's because there are so many spices involved, most of them unfamiliar. While this recipe has a lot of ingredients, it's actually quite simple to make, and I've made it so many times that the tweaks I've made to the measurements will ensure a perfect curry every time.

Paneer (or Chicken) Makhani

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Ingredients (in order of appearance)

1t coriander powder
1t cumin powder
½ t tumeric
½ t garam masala powder
1t chili powder
1t cayenne powder (optional - if you like it with a little kick, I’d recommend it)
¼ c cashews or almonds
1 softball sized onion
2T dried fenugreek/kasuri methi leaves
2T canola/vegetable oil
1lb chicken or paneer, cut into cubes
3T butter
1t ginger paste
1t garlic paste
2c tomato puree (or one 15 oz can)
2c any vegetables you’d like (broccoli, bell peppers and frozen green peas are usually nice)

salt to taste

½c cup heavy cream
1T chopped fresh cilantro

Preparation (45 minutes)

1. Measure out the coriander, cumin, tumeric, garam masala, chili powder and cayenne powder and combine in one bowl.  This will save you burning things later, as I have done hunting through the pantry for one spice.
2. Put cashews or almonds in a bowl of warm water, and leave to soak.  If you happen to have cashew or almond nut paste, then just use 1T of that.
3. Cut onion into chunks and boil until soft/translucent.  If you do this in a 3 qt saucepan, it will be the only pan you have to use for the whole dish.

4. Drain water (and reserve) and blend onions into a smooth paste.  Allow to cool.

5. In a 3qt saucepan, dry roast the kasuri methi for five minutes over medium heat.  Remove it from the pan, and crush it into a fine powder with your fingers.  If is not turning to powder, dry roast it a bit longer.  Set aside.

                                                                  

6. Dry roast bowl of spices over medium heat for 5 minutes to cook out the raw flavour.  Set aside.
7. In the same saucepan, heat oil and cook chicken.  I like to toss a little tumeric, cumin and coriander on the chicken while it is raw.  It gives it a lovely yellow colour and some extra flavour.  Remove chicken from pan and set aside.

Note: If you are using paneer, do not dust with spices.  After browning, soak the paneer in salted water until later to keep it soft.

8. Melt butter in the saucepan and add onion paste.  Cook to a golden brown.

9. Add ginger and garlic pastes and let simmer for 1-2 minutes.
10. Add the bowl of roasted spices and mix well.

11. Add the tomato puree and simmer over low heat.

 

12. Take cashews or almonds out of the water and grind to a paste.  If you have a mortar and pestle, that will work best, but I usually just place them between two sheets of wax/parchment paper and mash them with a rolling pin or can.  Add to pan.
13. Simmer for 10 minutes.  If it starts to get to dry, add some of the reserved onion water.  
14. Salt to taste.  If it’s too mild for you, you can always add some more cayenne pepper at this point.
15. Add cream and kasuri methi powder and simmer for 5 minutes.
16. Add any vegetables you’d like (broccoli, peas and bell peppers usually work well) as well as the chicken or paneer, and simmer for another 5 minutes.

17. Remove from heat, serve over rice and garnish with chopped cilantro.  Enjoy!

B's Birthday Dinner at Artz Rib House...With My Vegetarian Family...

So there are very few times when B actually picks where we eat, and this was no exception.  It was his birthday, and I told him we were going to Artz Rib House, because, on his birthday, he should get to eat something he loves, rather than just tolerates.  Of course, he put up a fight because he - considerately - said, "Honey, there's nothing for you to eat there!"  Which isn't entirely true - they make veggie burgers and baked potatoes that I can eat - but I soon realized that my tolerance for a VERY limited selection (because I love B and wanted him to selfishly enjoy himself at least one night a year) miiiiiight not be entirely gravy with the rest of my family.  Especially since my little sister was in her strict vegan mode, rather than simply vegetarian like the rest of us.


I think that Art is undergoing some family/medical issues, because rumour has it that this place is hurting.  And it was.  When we arrived, there was hardly anyone there (as opposed to the last time we went, where it was packed and on a wait list).


I don't feel like there's a whole lot to say about this, so I won't bore you all with tales of my dissatisfaction, but I will note two things:  Art's mustard, which is why I go here, was "out" as he hadn't made any in a few weeks, and my husband said the ribs were dry.  I hope whatever he has going on gets sorted out and this place doesn't close down, but the food has got to get back to where it was if people are going to start coming back here...

Turkey Day 2010

I love Thanksgiving.  For me, it marks the beginning of the holiday season and the time to officially stop hanging on to summer (I live in Texas – it’s usually sweltering when we go out for Halloween) and change the air fresheners in the house from Breezy-Hawaiian-Something-or-Other to Cinnamon-Clove-Cosiness.  There’s nothing I love more than those ridiculously strong-scented cinnamon brooms that start popping up around Halloween.

This is also the time of year when people apparently start stressing out over making the traditional holiday spread, centred on a giant dead bird.  I’ve heard all sorts of horror stories from friends who forgot to turn the oven on and ended up with a raw bird or got stuck in traffic making a last minute run to the grocery store and ended up with a tough, dry, slightly burned bird.  While I don’t know anyone personally who has deep fried a turkey and burned their house down…it happens.

Obviously, since we’re living in Texas and it’s my side of the family that is American, we celebrated Veggie style.  Now, before any Beasts out there start lamenting my poor, undernourished B, he doesn’t even like turkey.  However, I wanted him to have something that reminded him of home, so I decided to make him some elements of a traditional Sunday Roast.  The end result (without any of the tons of vegetarian sides) was this:

Unfortunately for my little baby, Thor, he did not manage to get a hold of that cowboy steak, like he did B’s roast beef sandwiches the year before.  Also, I feel that this photo needs and awesome LOLz caption, so I will change the picture to one with the best caption left in the comments section below.

Anyway, every year each person picks what they want to be responsible for, so this year, I let the perennial failures like green bean casserole and steamed asparagus with hollandaise (which never actually made it to the table, as I dropped the platter on the floor, much to the Bean’s delight) go, and focused on some staples and crowd pleasers.  My contribution was:

Tangy Tangerine Cranberry Sauce (recipe below)

Roasted Tatties (recipe below)

Decadent Chocolate Mousse (Made in a blender!)

Pumpkin Cheesecake (recipe below)
Fresh Whipped Cream (recipe below)

The first dish is a spin on a Thanksgiving classic inspired by the abundance of tangerines in our backyard.  It honestly could not be simpler, and while I didn’t take the best picture, there’s nothing that elevates your Thanksgiving dinner like the absence of those telltale rings on canned cranberry sauce.

Tangy Tangerine Cranberry Sauce

1c water

1c sugar

12 oz package fresh whole cranberries

1T tangerine juice

sliced tangerine or tangerine wedges to garnish

Mix sugar and water and bring to a boil.

· · ·

Add cranberries and bring back up to a boil.

· · ·

Simmer for 10 minutes, stirring to make sure the cranberries don’t stick and the sugar doesn’t burn.

· · ·

Add tangerine juice (or any other citrus juice you prefer).

· · ·

Simmer for 2 more minutes.

· · ·

At this point, you have two choices – if you like whole berry sauce, pour the sauce straight from the pot into a bowl and let cool to room temperature. 

· · ·

Top with a twisted slice of tangerine and refrigerate until ready to serve.

· · ·

If you prefer jellied cranberry sauce, place a sieve over a bowl, and pour the cranberry sauce (about half a sieve-full at a time) in.  Here’s where you’re going to work off some of that pumpkin pie:

· · ·

With the back of a spoon, push the cranberry sauce through the sieve, scraping out the skins and adding more sauce until you’ve separated the whole pot. 

· · ·

In the centre of your serving bowl, make a little star-shaped pattern with tangerine wedges.

· · ·

Pour the cranberry sauce into the bowl and let cool to room temperature. 

· · ·

If you have the time, make this version early in the day (or even the night before) so you can refrigerate for as long as possible.  I think this jellied sauce looks prettiest when it’s solid enough to turn out onto a plate so you get that pretty star pattern and glossy jelly sheen.

· · ·

The number one thing to remember is that homemade cranberry sauce is very different from the canned stuff…it’s actually sauce that you will spoon onto your plate rather than cutting like a loaf of bread.  This is a good thing.

Roasted Tatties

These are a staple of any Sunday roast, and – made properly – little fluffy, crunchy bits of heaven.

2 lbs baby red potatoes

½ cup canola oil

Bring a pot of water to a boil (no salt, please!).

· · ·

Pour oil into a baking sheet or any pan with a lip and heat in oven at 400° F.

· · ·

Peel the potatoes and add to boiling water.

· · ·

This next bit is rather inexact, and will take practice:

You want to cook the potatoes so that the outer layer is a bit translucent, but the inside is still solid.

Basically, when you remove the potatoes from the water, you’re going to drain them and then shake the colander about to fluff up the outer layer.  Boil them too long, and when you shake them, they’ll turn to mashed potatoes.  Capice?

· · ·

Gently spoon fluffed up potatoes into the hot oil (get those mushed bits too – they’ll be wonderfully crisp) and spoon the hot oil over the potatoes, coating evenly.

Keep “basting” the potatoes every few minutes, gently turning them so that all sides get evenly brown.

· · ·

When they are golden brown, remove from the oven and transfer to a paper towel-lined platter.

· · ·

Sprinkle with salt, and smother with gravy, if you are so inclined.

Okay, I know I promised all of the dessert recipes as well, but I went out Black Friday shopping this morning, and am utterly exhausted.  I promise I will post the recipes later, but for now, I need a nap!  


Here are some pictures of what's to come...

Simple Savory Summer Tomato Pies - Mmmmmm!

I feel a bit like the snake from Robin Hood (the animated version) after saying that, but these pies really were simple, savory, summery and scrumptious!  


I'd been turning over the idea of a savory tomato pie in my head for days, and since I actually had a Saturday off (!!!), the Bean (my little sister) and I headed to the farmer's market to pick up some goods.  Before we even left the house, I was salivating at the thought of juicy fruits, fresh veggies, and artisan dairy products.  When we pulled in, I asked the Bean if it was around the back (it's held in the parking lot of a high school football stadium), and she said, "No.  It's over there," and pointed to a tiny corner of the parking lot.  My heart immediately sank:  I'm used to the sprawling Hollywood Farmer's Market or Jan Power's Farmer's Market (not far from the Brisbane city centre) or the Borough Market in London.  Those markets, if you are familiar with them, are absolutely incredible, and if you are in the Los Angeles, Brisbane or London area, GO!


I honestly expected a lot more from hippy dippy Austin.  The pathetic farmer's market (NO heirloom tomatoes or really tomatoes of any kind in the middle of summer) with about 15 stalls made me inquire as to how one becomes a vendor.  Certainly there were a few stalls where I felt, "Seriously?  I/mum/the Bean do that, but better!"  Imagine my surprise when the staff at the information booth told me they were "full".  I kid you not.  Why 15-20 vendors is the limit escapes me, since the variety is not particularly spectacular, and space is certainly not at a premium.  And, for the record, Texas French Breads and Sweetish Hill bakery should not be vendors here.  Besides the fact that is takes all of the artisan out of the farmer's market, I read the rules, and once a business grosses over a certain amount, they are - supposedly - meant to be phased out to make room for the smaller guys.  I'm pretty sure both of these businesses are making more than the whole of the independent stalls combined at their storefronts.  


However, grave disappointment aside (three full loops in under 20 minutes!) we did stumble upon some delectable goat's cheese that was locally made by Swede Farm.  It was just the right amount of tart where you can feel your glands pucker when you eat it, but it doesn't cause you to gag or tears to stream down your face.  I could have sat there and eaten the whole 8 ounces if I didn't know I would pay for it later.  While all of the flavours were lovely, the Texas Spicy was, by far, my favorite.  I'm a big fan, and even bigger consumer of fresh goat's cheese, and this one blew me away.  Soft and creamy with a kick that left you craving more.  Perfection.  If it didn't work out to $20 a pound, I would have bought much more.


After we got home, the Bean and I headed back out to our local grocery store (which is fairly hoity toity and does a lot more organic stuff than it's locations in other neighbourhoods) and picked up some heirloom tomatoes, fresh mozzarella and other ingredients to round out the basically nothing we got at the farmer's market.  Once we arrived home for the night, the Bean Ninja'd up a pina colada for me, margaritas for both of us, and mixed herself a Bloody Mary.  B made me a TVR (tequila, vodka, Redbull), but since vodka is still not my thing, the Bean ended up drinking that one.


We spent the evening concocting three different tomato pies (or tarts, whichever you'd like to call them):  Vegan for the Bean, topped with fresh mozzarella for B and mum, and topped with goat's cheese for me (no one else is willing to even give it a shot - their loss!).  I was surprised by just how well the Bean's vegan tart crust held together, and was actually quite glad for the variety, since I know there are plenty of different tastes and diets out there.  

After assembling our pies, things were looking quite promising!

The Bean's Vegan Tomato & Onion Pie

Tomato Pie with Fresh Mozzarella

Tomato & Spicy Goat's Cheese Pie

Next up was into the oven, and on to finishing our drinks!  The Bean decided to whip up a side salad made of - you guessed it - beans!  It was a deliciously creamy (but somehow vegan) combination of Great Northern beans, onions, parsley, grapeseed oil (you can use any kind, she actually only ended up using grapeseed because she thought it was a bottle of extra virgin olive oil!), white wine vinegar and Dijon mustard.  Honestly, her salad was sinfully delicious and a fantastic alternative to the traditional fatty potato salad that you have to worry about killing your picnic or BBQ guests if it's not properly chilled the whole time.  Play around with the ratios until you get the taste you want.  We prefer a strong vinegar/mustard taste, so are probably a bit heavier than you might be with those seasonings.

By the time that was done, the first of the pies was just about ready to come out of the oven.  The Bean's vegan pie was the first to go in, and therefore the first to come out.  While it looked delicious, we soon found out that the bottom wasn't fully cooked.  Just before the Bean was about to scoop out all the filling to bake the crust, we decided to brainstorm a bit before destroying the gorgeous pie:

1. Her pie had been cooked in a cheap aluminum pan that I reasoned hadn't held the heat as well as our ceramic ones.
2. While she advised me to poke fork holes in the bottom of mine, she'd forgotten to do so to hers.
3. Her pie, to avoid being burned through the thinner aluminum, had been baked on the top shelf, and probably just needed some time on the bottom.

The Bean's Vegan Tomato & Onion Pie Fresh Out of the Oven!

As the other pies came out (and hers went back in), I noticed that the tomatoes had released a lot of liquid.  However, the crust, even with liquid pooling around it, still seemed crisp so I poured the excess juice off.  In retrospect, I really wish I'd poured the liquid into a jar rather than down the sink, as I have a sneaky feeling it would have been an incredible salad dressing.  

Other pies hot out of the oven!

Tomato & Fresh, Bubbly Mozzarella!

An up-close shot of all the delicious layers of tomato-y goodness.
Plus, the Bean's white bean salad.

My goat's cheese and tomato pie - a lovely golden brown!

Another up-close shot of layer upon layer of the taste of summer!

Not a bad result for a spur of the moment dinner choice!  What do you think?  Is this something you'd make or does a pie of strictly tomatoes seem intimidating?  I made steak and Guinness pies for B as well, but that's a whole other post.  I think we're going to attack a range of jaffle style pies tomorrow, so I'll save pics of the steak and Guinness pies for that post!

Back to My West Hollywood Stomping Grounds...in Downtown Austin?

Yes! It's true! Austin is now the proud home of it's very own zpizza! I don't know how long this place has been here since I only moved back to Austin from LA a few months ago, but as I was longingly gazing at the Rusticas and other amazing pies on the website, I stumbled across the "Locations" tab, and was shocked to find a zpizza right in my own backyard!

Naturally, I dragged hubby downtown, and I was practically drooling by the time we found parking and got inside.

*Side Note: Parking here sucks. A lot. Plan on making circles for about 15 minutes if you're going on a Saturday evening like we did. There are a few new bars and restaurants on this little strip, and they were packed.*

Once inside, I was shocked. It was empty! Apparently no one else was aware of the zpizza's deliciousness. I was divided in how this made me feel. On the one hand, I thought, "Mmmmm! More zpizza all for me!" on the other hand, I realized that a complete lack of patronage might mean that after a few months like this, there would, ironically, not only NOT be more zpizza for me, but none at all - for me or anyone else...

Inner emotional conflict was quickly crushed - or drowned - by the drool running down my face as I looked at the spinning warming display of individual slices. I thought, as a lady, I should show some restraint, so I wiped my mouth, swallowed the lump in my throat, and ordered a Mediterranean Rustica. B ordered an American with jalapeños, a couple of beers (he had Blue Moon), and then, to my horror and envy, said, "And give me a couple of those pepperoni slices for while I wait."

What?! I'm dying here and he, who was put off by the idea of zpizza for the very same reasons I love it (in his mind, organic = douchey), was going to chow down while I waited 15 minutes for our food? Must be nice to be a guy and not have to worry about being ladylike...

As we sat and waited, I found myself defending my old haunt: No! The one I used to go to wasn't like this. It was Southern California - we sat at tables on the sidewalk. (The inside of this zpizza was very cavernous and had these dinky little McDonald's two person tables that only served to highlight just how empty the place was.) While we waited, I felt increasingly like I was in a fish bowl. It was dark by now, and people were crowded outside waiting for valets to retrieve their vehicles. A few times the odd drunk girl would press her face up against the glass, peering into this oddly bright and mostly empty storefront before eventually squealing, "It's a PIZZA place! Oh my god, I'm so hungry! Let's get PIZZA!" Thankfully (because patronage be damned, I did NOT want to deal with drunk people), they were ushered into their awaiting vehicles by slightly more sober boyfriends or impatient valets.

When the food was finally ready, I started to dig in. As I was grabbing a slice of my Rustica, I noticed B staring down at his pie. It was undercooked (You know when instead of a cohesive layer of cheese you can see that the shreds are still shreds and haven't really melted all the way? Hate that!) and conspicuously devoid of jalapeños. I took it back to the counter and told the guy he'd forgotten them. He nonchalantly told me they were out, and that's why there weren't any on there. So I asked him to bake it longer, and he said that he couldn't since it had already been cut. I was starting to get frustrated, so I asked him for a refund on the jalapeños (it might just be a couple of dollars, but I'm not paying for toppings that we didn't get), and if he could just pop the whole pan back in so that the cheese could finish melting, which he did, albeit grudgingly.

I returned to my food, and as I picked up a slice, all of the toppings made a mad dash for the table. I took a bite, and everything just sort of...gooshed. Let me tell you, there is nothing appetizing about pizza (or any of its relatives, like the Rustica) gooshing when you bite into it. Sauce went everywhere, toppings were on the pan, and my fingers were covered in, well, gush. B looked at my miserable face and asked, "What's wrong?" I sighed and turned my eyes to the pan in front of me, my mouth too full of sauce and wet crust to talk, and my fingers too messy to even wipe my mouth off with.

What had happened? The place that had been my big work lunch treat back in LA (I was a college student and everything in LA is expensive!) was, to put it bluntly, a massive disappointment. B kept asking me if I wanted to get something else, but I couldn't. I was crushed. Somehow the meal that satiated me on those blissful SoCal afternoons just didn't translate out here - and it wasn't just the lack of abundant sunshine that made it so. Everything was undercooked and overloaded with sauce and cheese. I plowed through it out of pure hunger (this seems to be a trend, huh?) and Irish upbringing - you don't waste food - but just ended up feeling sick.

B enjoyed his pizza well enough, but only ate a bit of it because the wait between his first two slices and our food actually being ready had given his appestat time to kick in, and he was full. When he forgot his leftovers in Malaga next door (where we went for drinks), we didn't go back. I don't like to waste food, but I'm not a glutton for punishment either....

The Ranking

(all rankings are out of 5)

• Food: ☆☆
• Maybe we went on a bad night, but consistency of quality is important too.

• Atmosphere: ☆
• zpizza will remain a lunch spot for me, if I come back. This is not the sort of place you go to dinner, and, to be honest, it's not that convenient for me to pop in for lunch, so this might be the end of my love affair with zpizza...Unless, of course, I move back to LA!

• Service: ☆
• The guy was friendly, but didn't bother telling us he was leaving a topping off, and, let's face it, this is a healthful alternative to fast food, but it's still really self-serve.

• Price: $$
• I may no longer be a starving uni student in LA, but at this zpizza, the quality of food still did not justify the cost.

The bottom line?

Here in Austin, I'd still head to Milto's any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. Seriously, the twice on Sunday thing has happened before. Though it might have been a Tuesday...